Forgive and Forget?

Guys, it’s not like I’m reverting back to my old ways oh. I just got kinda stuck in my feelings (like how you get stuck on one level in candy crush for a week), so I had to organize myself, deal with what was holding me down and come back frosher.

Anyways, one of the basic things I’m still learning about is forgiveness. I’ve seen a lot of believers hold on to some pretty painful and hurtful stuffs. I know that Jesus also has this to say;

Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭18:22‬ ‭KJV‬‬

However, some schools of thought have successfully differentiated Forgiving and Forgetting, lemme explain, some say you can forgive but you won’t forget. As in, that you forgive doesn’t mean that you don’t remember that someone did something to you. Other schools marry these two together, they say it’s impossible to say you’ve forgiven without forgetting. 

Now lemme go to my own subject matter, it is really just a question anyways cos I’m yet to understand. Will it be regarded as unforgiveness if after you say you’ve forgiven your offender you still keep them at arms length.

I’ve been in relationships where it ended up being like toxic to me and to the other party, we took offense, stopped speaking and kinda moved on. Truthfully, as far as I’m concerned we’ve forgiven each other but we don’t speak, I was once asked to restore the ties but in my mind (gbogbo eleyi oh necesstri). I told the requester that I wasn’t interested, not because I’ve not forgiven but because I hadn’t forgotten how nasty I almost became because of the entanglement, not wanting to go back there, I had to decline the arm of friendship. 

In the requester’s opinion I had not forgiven but I knew I had ( I can’t even remember what caused all the toxicity but I remember it was toxic sha). I’m sure many of us have gone through this kinda situation and ask this question too. Does my reluctance to go back to how it was with someone that offended me mean that I’m not forgiving?

Before you answer that question, lemme present a case study. If as a guy your best friend rapes your sister and then he confesses, do you have to keep being friends with that person just because you’ve forgiven the person? (In this case, you can never forget, your sister’s existence reminds you everyday).

Me I’m not looking for trouble oh, I’m searching for clarity (no one is perfect, God will airpus)

Memoirs of a Christian 

©️ Icequeen